I Miss You.

Oh brother

Oh brother

Where art thou

I feel lost without you

I feel like a half of me is missing

Like a shadow on my side

Hollow and grave

What a mistake

This world made

Letting you go

Don’t you know

How loved you were?

So many people showed up for you

But where were you?

We threw a party for you

But where were you?

We sang your praises

And told stories about you

But where were you?

I gave a speech

And spoke nicely about you

Because I love you

But where were you?

Where were you

When I needed you

To help Mom and Dad

As they crumbled in pain

Where were you

When all your friends asked about you

And what happened to you

And still wanted to party with you

Where were you

When I let the pain in

And didn’t know if I would live

Where were you

When your girlfriend found you

And it wasn’t you

Just your body

Hollow and lifeless

Where are you now?

I think I know

I feel you up there

Having a ball

Way more fun than us all

Still

You win

At life

But now my life

Has changed

Everything has been re-arranged

I feel hopeless

And drowning

Unable to decide where I’m going

Because when you were here

You made it clear

To live life

No fear

And now, I don’t know what I’m doing here

I don’t know my purpose anymore

I don’t know where you are

I miss you

Even though I didn’t see you

For years sometimes

You were always on my mind

Wondering what you were scheming

Dreaming

And bringing to life

There was no one like you

Just the thought of you

Was inspiring for so many

I miss you

I want to hug you

Because we didn’t enough

We didn’t say what we felt enough

And now I’m left with only pieces of you

And clues

And it’s up to me to put them together

To understand you

I miss you

I want to see you

And your tan skin

Your goofy grin

Just one more time

Before you fly back

Home

Back to the unknown

Please

Can you come back

I miss you

Do you miss me too?

I love you Brother

We didn’t say it enough

I have regrets that I can’t

Smother

They hurt

They sting

I want another chance

To be the best sister ever

What if we knew this was going to happen?

What would we have done differently?

Be more kind

More loving

More embracing

More understanding

I want you to know

I love who you were

Even the parts of you that remained

Unseen

Even the pieces of you

That seemed

Broken

I love all of you

There is no cause of death

Myth

Or story

That will make me love you less

Cut from the same cloth

We were

Turned into different pieces of clothing

Different styles

And yet

So much the same

And I didn’t see this

Until it was too late

You’re gone

And it’s the shittiest fate

I hate

I spit

I hit

Because I’m angry

I’m so goddamn angry

That you did this

I am mad at you

All in the name of fun

The drugs

It was a ton

And I knew

You were hurting

But you wouldn’t let me in

No one could get in

Brother

No one could get to you

In time

We all cared about you

We wanted you to care about you

And stop doing

What was not good for you

But it was your game

Your life

Your way

And we all had to get onboard

If we wanted to stay

And so many of us did

Want to stay

In your life

In whatever way

We could

And so

We all lived

Never getting to build a bridge

Into your heart

Just accepting

That this was you

Only parts of you

Never the whole you

And even the pieces

Were enough for us

We just wanted to be around you

And now, what am I left to do?

With all these pieces of you

Some true

Some I do not understand

Some people do not believe

And I am here

Fighting for you

The truth of you

Not the picture of you

You were a great man

Jesse Cole Hopper

And I want people to see that

Where do I start?

How do I show your heart?

And all that you could do

How do I show you more

To the people that loved you?

How do I paint a picture

Of the full you

Please help me brother

Help me know

Help me show

Myself and others

Your legacy

Your mystery

All of you

I am listening

Brother

For you

To hear the whispers of direction

The signs of peace

And map of treasure

To my greatest life adventure

I will live it for you

I will let myself forever be inspired by you

I will stay true to me

And allow you to see

From up there

Who I am meant to be

My fullest

Most epic me

In honor of you

My Brother

My guide forever

My lighthouse in the dark

My source of fun and adventure

Taking me places I would never dare venture

Forever connected we are

You are never far

From my heart

Like talking on the phone

I know you are Home

And I can call

Whenever I need you

My Brother in the Sky

Flying high

Sending me joy when I cry

Forever watching me

As I become who I am meant to be

With you by my side

My Brother

I love you